| The K.I.S.S Method |
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Car dealers may use many types of sales strategies to control their customers and the most common is known as the KISS Method. "K.I.S.S" is an acronym for "Keep-It-Simple-Stupid". When the salesman employs this method they will behave as if they are too stupid to answer the customer’s questions. In other words, by acting stupid they won't answer any questions that they don't wish to answer. This allows them to move though a predefined “step by step” sales process without getting sidetracked.
In most cases, dealerships will instruct their salespeople to follow a strict sales process. They are taught this process in order to convert customers into “same-day” sales. Admittedly, no one wants to act incompetent. However, many dealerships instruct their salesmen to follow certain steps with military precision and to apply them to every customer. In order to keep the customer "on track" the salesman will tell sheepishly admit they can't answer the customer's question but will find the answer later.
The dealer uses "KISS" to better manage its sales force. Look at it this way; it is easier to teach a salesman to perform “seven steps to a sale”, than to tell them to “go sell a car.” You can read about the car salesman sevens steps in the Guide Book. It is worth mentioning that most dealerships require their salesman to perform these steps and many times threaten to fire them if they don’t.
These steps need to be performed in a specific order; one step must be completed before the next step is attempted.
For example, the salesman may be at a step in the sales process that would require the customer to test-drive the car. The salesman has been instructed that they are not allowed to discuss price until this "test-drive" step is completed.
Unfortunately, the customer asks “What’s the monthly payment on this car?”
Now the salesperson has to make an adjustment. Using the "KISS" method, the salesman would respond by acting stupid by saying “I can’t calculate monthly payments in my head. If I could…I probably would be the manager...First, let’s take the car for a test drive and I will get that information for you when we get back".
In the above scenario, the salesman has avoided answering the customer's question by acting like a simpleton and has successfully kept the customer moving to the next step. Eventually, they would like to talk about the price, but they want it be in a controlled environment after the customer has been taken through all of the preliminary steps.
Colombo Act
This is a popular variation of the KISS method and is used often during price negotiations. The “Colombo Act” is when the salesmen models themselves after the bumbling television character "Colombo". In other words, they will act incompetent while controlling the pace and direction of the conversation.
The salesman maintains control of the customer by acting as though they don’t possess the capacity to answer exotic questions like price and payment. Not to mention, the salesman's act of incompetence may give the customer a feeling of superiority which leads them to rely on a false sense of being in control.
Many times, customers will witness this “Colombo act” during the first part of the negotiation; right after they have submitted an offer to purchase the car.
The “Colombo act” goes something like this:
The salesman will briefly leave the room then return immediately scratching their head with a confused look on their face and then say to the customer, “Let me get this straight, you would like to keep your payments at only two hundred fifty dollars…but with only two thousand dollars down? Is that right?” By acting confused by the customer’s offer, the salesman attempts to get them to doubt the chances that it will be accepted. This makes it easier for the salesman to get a Bump later in the negotiations.
Another common variation of "KISS" is when the salesperson explains that they are "new" to the business and are still learning the
 ropes. Many ten year veterans will tell their customers they are "brand new" salesmen. Because if the salesman acts like a “green-pea”, their novice abilities will entitle them to be uninformed and not required to answer any tough questions.
There are many advantages for a salesman to act as though they are a "green-pea". When a salesman is "new", the customer may be empathetic and feel compelled to help the salesman succeed. For example, during the negotiation the customer will witnesses the brand new salesperson battling the sales manager trying to get a good deal for them and this may motivate the customer to increase their offer. In other words, they want to help the new salesman get their first deal!
Another “green pea” strategy is to obligate the customer. This goes hand-in-hand with the "KISS" method. For example, the salesperson will be running back and forth and doing "whatever it takes to make a deal". Because the salesperson is theoretically "new" they will appear to have to work much harder to accomplish these challenges. Again, the customer then may feel obligated to the salesman because of the time and effort they have spent.
Keep in mind, most dealerships would prefer to have their salespeople act “brand new” and perform limited roles. Historically, it can be a disadvantage to have salespeople that can readily answer all of the customer’s questions. Dealers know from experience that if a customer can get all of their questions answered quickly, they will go home to think about their purchase and will rarely return to buy a car. The salesperson stands the best chance of selling the car on the first visit. This requires the salesman to control the customer and sometimes acting simple and stupid is the best technique.
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