The Kiss Method
Car dealers may use many types of sales strategies to control their customers. However, the most common is known as the “KISS” Method.
“K.I.S.S” is an acronym for “Keep It Simple Stupid.” When the salesman employs this method, he will behave as if he is too stupid to answer the customer’s questions. In other words, by acting stupid, he won’t have to answer any questions that he doesn’t wish to answer.
This allows him to move though a predefined “step by step” sales process without getting sidetracked.These steps of the sales process are to be performed in a specific order; one step must be completed before the next is attempted.
For example, the salesman may be at a step during the sale that requires the customer to test-drive the car and the salesman has been instructed by his salesmanager that he is not allowed to discuss the price until this “test-drive” step is completed.
Unfortunately, the customer asks “What’s the monthly payment on this car?” Using the “KISS” method, the salesman will respond by acting stupid, saying “I can’t calculate monthly payments in my head. If I could, I probably would be the manager...First, let’s take the car for a test-drive and I will get that information for you when we get back.”
Lease End and Disposition Fees
You must be aware of the fees and charges that are due at the end of your lease. Unfortunately, these fees are often “glossed over” by the dealership. Keep in mind that when you enter into a lease contract, you are obligating yourself to the exact terms of the lease. These fees are generally not negotiable and are put into place by the leasing company to protect its investment in the vehicle. Beware of the salesperson who will tell you: “Don’t worry about what happens at the end. Just bring the car back and we will take care of what needs to be done.” What the salesman tells you and what may actually happen are two different things.
Common car salesman's expressions:
I was on the Point looking for a Lay down when a fresh Up drove onto the lot. He looked like a Slide Rule and was driving a Sled that needed Sneakers.
I was feeling Strong so I Skated a Hanger Queen who was waiting for the Be Back Bus. Also, the Floor was Flooded so I knew I could always Turn him to a Green Pea if he turned out to be a Mooch.
After my Meet and Greet I discovered the customer was on a Bubble, Buried in his trade and was waiting for a Second Baseman.
It looked like I may have to Butter Nose his Rat, Bump him a Nickel and eat the Trunk Money just to make a Mini.
Luckily, I landed him on a Spiff car with Whiskers and after I had a committed Write-up, he flopped on the first Pencil from the Desk. The deal was a four Pounder after Pack.
Unfortunately, the customer was a Stroke. He had said that he had Gold Balls but he was actually a Roach. My F&I guy was good at Hanging Paper and he Roasted the App to get him bought with a decent Leg to sell some Mop and Glow on the Back-End.
Of course, once the Unit was Tripped and Killing Bugs, a Jick tried to Kink me by claiming the customer was his Phone pop.